Father, I am so sorry for my sins. I do not feel worthy of your forgiveness. I do not feel worth your son's sacrifice. I feel more like I've caused him suffering. There are gashes in His side from a whip I've held more than once.
I have tasted, if only a minute part, both closeness and distance from You and your love. I truly desire to be with you for eternity. I beg your forgiveness, though I've done nothing to deserve it. Please do not turn me away when my time for judgement comes. I do not want to sin anymore. I need the strength of your Holy Spirit to resist my weakness to sin. I cannot suffer it alone. I truly desire to be one with your love, not as a reward for what I've done or been, but because I belong to you. I need you. I love you.